Obituary of Joseph Ernst Hefner

Joseph (“Joe”) Ernst Hefner passed away on August 16, 2025. He was 77 years old.

Born in Middle Village, Queens, NY to parents Joseph and Frieda (Grünewald) Hefner, Joe attended and graduated from Brooklyn Technical High School, then achieved a Bachelor of Electrical Engineering from the University of Dayton and a Master of Science in Bioengineering from New York University. In the 1980s, when living in Gales Ferry, CT and working as a sonar systems engineer at the Naval Underwater Systems Center, he completed courses at the University of Connecticut toward a PhD in Computer Science but stopped just short of his dissertation defense to focus on his young family. The Hefner family moved to Mendham, NJ in 1982, where Joe remained a resident until his passing. In NJ, Joe worked for many years as a software engineer for Bell Labs / Lucent Technologies in Murray Hill, then for Ciena Corporation, Index Engines, and other startup technology companies before retiring in 2017. In the evenings for many years of his career he also was an adjunct computer science professor at both Fairleigh Dickinson University and the College of St. Elizabeth. Joe was a long-time parishioner of St. Joseph Catholic Church in Mendham.

Joe was always very active outside of work and provided significant support to his local community through various charities and organizations, such as the Knights of Columbus. He volunteered with the Ralston Fire Company for many years as an active firefighter, then as treasurer. During retirement, he volunteered with the local Visiting Nurses Association (“VNA”), where he repaired electronics for their annual rummage sale - sharing his passion for tinkering and restoring intricate tools and devices with a broader community beyond his family. He was also the de facto handyman and utilities consultant for his children as they embarked on home ownership. Like his big brother Willy, Joe enjoyed woodworking; he hand-built step stools and other furniture in the style of his father and extended Hefner family and helped his two sons build Pinewood Derby-winning race cars for their Cub Scout troops.

Joe was a sports enthusiast and coach for his children’s soccer and basketball teams. He was an avid tennis player and member of several leagues in New Jersey and Florida where he continued playing regularly until his final days. His
first car was a motorcycle which he took to college and worked on in his off- campus apartment living room, baffling his roommates. He had a mid-life return to motorcycles in 2001, buying a sensible Honda cruiser to ride around Mendham and to work. At his former Long Beach Island (“LBI”), NJ vacation home, Joe loved to ride bicycles to the beach and around town. A true engineer, he took it upon himself to recover and repair over a dozen damaged bicycles, giving them new life for others to enjoy.

Like his mother, siblings, children, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren, Joe loved playing card games. He was a lifelong bridge player and in recent years competed in weekly poker games with his Florida community friends. Joe was also a talented chef who loved adapting the classics and creating all-new recipes to share with family and friends. His creativity was recognized via multiple cooking contest wins among friends and neighbors.

Joe is survived by his loving wife of 56 years, Nancy Hefner, his sons Matthew (Karen) Hefner of Harding Township, NJ and Kevin (Rebecca) Hefner of Snowmass Village, CO; daughter Kathryn (Isaac) Hefner Ray of Olney, MD; brother William (“Willy”) (Eleanor) Hefner; and 5 treasured grandchildren Andrew, Alexandra, Ella, Michael, and Colton. He is predeceased by his sister Anita Holzwarth, brother-in-law Raymond Holzwarth, and brother-in-law Carl Luhrmann. His sister Margot (Carl) Luhrmann recently passed away on September 1, 2025.

A visitation for all family and friends will be held on Monday, September 22, 2025, from 11:00 AM to 12:30 PM at the Bailey Funeral Home, 8 Hilltop Road, Mendham, with a service in the funeral home at 12:30 PM. In lieu of flowers, donations in Joe’s memory may be made to Blood Cancer United.